I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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