WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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