Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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