He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
