Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
