Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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