I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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