well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just want nice things and good sex
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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