Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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