i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
