so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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