woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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