i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
