I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
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