Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
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after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
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Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
we're so committed to being not committed
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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