Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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