..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear