I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
