wakey wakey hands off snakey
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
