i need an iv and a liver transplant
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
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