Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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