i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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