Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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