WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
