My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
