I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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