This is not my ceiling
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
