hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
The uberlube is also flammable
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
