I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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