you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize