I feel like I'm in dance class right now
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
