Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
