I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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