about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
