we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I checked into jail on foursquare
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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