Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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