Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
