Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm going to jail i love you
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
