New invention idea: vibrating tampons
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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