dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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