Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
