it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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