Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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