Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
