how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
