you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
