Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
