I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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