Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
