I'm drive I can fine osifer
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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