seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
