everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
