I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
