I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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