I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
