Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
