puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize