So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
