I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
