even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
