she takes plan B like it's going out of style
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize