Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
