i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize