Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
