i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
