It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
