If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It's never too late to be topless.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
