When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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