I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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