Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
In America we eat man semen.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
