The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
