We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
