Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
